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The Deluxe

Every human on this planet is an owner of the greatest product ever made...

The human body.

Think about it from a high level.

Your brain is conducting the symphony beneath you, like a puppet master.

Telling the engine, a.k.a your heart, to pump.

What you eat has to come out. Basic physics. Every 3D object has a maximum allowable volume. You need to make room before ingesting more. Voila, urine or BM?

But, NOT every human on this planet has the DELUXE version of the greatest product ever made.

The deluxe version being…a WOMAN’s body.

Think about it from breast level.

Sometime during those precious 9 months…here comes some MILK TO SAVE THE DAY. Where has the milk been all these years? Dear Abby, when did David Blaine touch your breasts? And then it just disappears one day, but in a timely fashion. When your child should probably start eating solids. Not starting high school.

Let's move down the totem pole to the belly.

If you speak Kangaroo, then the Joey.

The accommodations available: 2 star? 3 star? 5 star?

I don’t know. I can’t remember. But I bet it is magical.

I got free meals and the waiter was also my chauffer.

Someone remembered to shove a big ass bendy straw into my abdomen, so I could eat.

Thank god, because there was no cutlery. And I had no hands for the first two months.

Somebody really planned this well.

How did I get out finally?

I just started going south, heading for the border.

The exit does not look very big.

It magically expanded and somehow I got through.

Sure glad that thing was malleable.

Now give me some milk woman.


Another human body (non-deluxe version)

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